Not Good Enough & the Inner Critic

I don't think there is any feeling in my work that is more pervasive or stubborn than the belief, “I am not good enough.” Sometimes this belief sits close to the surface, showing up as self-criticism, low confidence, or a tendency to prioritise others. At other times, it is carefully hidden behind competence, independence, or being the one who copes. Anxiety and depression frequently become the doorway through which this belief begins to be explored. They can act as a form of

Many people come to therapy feeling caught in an ongoing internal pressure about what they should be doing. Shoulds often sound sensible on the surface. I should cope better. I should be more productive. I should not feel like this. Yet over time, these internal rules can become exhausting and quietly disconnecting. Rather than guiding us, they often pull us away from our own lived experience. In my work, I often notice that when someone begins to soften their grip on should,

Most of us know that voice inside that says we should be doing better, that we’ve said the wrong thing, or that we’ll never quite get it right. It can sound familiar, almost like an internal narrator keeping us in line. For many, this voice has been with us for so long that it feels like the truth. Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach describes this inner critic as a voice from the past.  Often, it echoes early experiences where we learned to doubt or protect oursel

Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply the drive to do things well. In therapy, perfectionism shows up more as a survival strategy. It is rooted in early experiences, shaped by relationships, and reinforced by cultural messages about worth and success. While some people describe themselves as “high achievers,” perfectionism is not the same as healthy ambition. Ambition can be flexible, adaptive, and connected to intrinsic motivation. Perfectionism is rigid, fuelled by

Shame and guilt are self-conscious emotions that often feel similar, but they have very different effects on our mental and emotional health. Understanding the difference can help us respond more kindly to ourselves and others. Here’s what research and therapeutic practice tell us about these powerful feelings, and how we can begin to work with them more gently. 1. Shame vs Guilt: What’s the Difference? Guilt  is tied to something we’ve done or failed to do. It sounds like, “