Listening to the Body: How Stress Shows Up Physically and What It Tells Us About Our Emotional Life

Psychological experiences are rarely confined to the mind. They are registered throughout the body in ways that can be subtle or overwhelming. A tightening in the throat, a knot in the stomach, a racing heart or an ache across the shoulders are not random discomforts. They are often the body’s way of communicating that something significant is taking place in our emotional lives.

The relationship between body and mind has been widely explored in clinical thinking. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory has highlighted how the nervous system responds to cues of safety and threat, shaping both physical states and emotional regulation. When the body shifts into heightened arousal, whether through anxiety, fear or stress, we may feel this long before we can identify it in words. Likewise, the British psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion spoke about the importance of tolerating experiences that have not yet been fully thought through. The body can hold these experiences until the mind is able to process them.

How stress manifests in the body

Stress often shows itself somatically. For some, this might be muscular tension or headaches. For others, it may be shallow breathing, gastrointestinal changes or difficulties with sleep. These signs are not simply by-products of psychological strain. They are part of the experience itself. In many cases the body notices and communicates stress before the conscious mind is fully aware of it.

This is not to suggest that every physical symptom has a psychological cause. Rather, by attending to what the body is telling us, we may begin to piece together a fuller picture of our emotional state.

How the body holds unspoken experience

For example, someone might notice a recurring tightness across the shoulders and upper back. At first it may be attributed to long hours at a desk, yet curiosity may arise when the same sensation appears at quieter moments in the evening, long after the working day has ended.

By paying closer attention, a pattern may emerge. The tension could be most pronounced in anticipation of certain conversations with family or colleagues that feel emotionally demanding. In this sense, the physical discomfort is not only about posture but also about the effort of holding oneself together in situations where it does not feel safe to be fully open.

Becoming aware of this link does not necessarily make the sensation vanish, nor does it provide a single clear answer. What it offers instead is a more compassionate understanding of how the body may be carrying unexpressed feelings. Over time, noticing rather than dismissing these signals can allow a different kind of clarity to develop about one’s needs and relationships.

Listening with curiosity

Learning to listen to the body involves a stance of curiosity rather than judgement. Carl Rogers, the founder of person-centred therapy, described acceptance as a condition that makes change possible. In a similar way, when we accept our bodily signals rather than criticise or suppress them, we create the possibility of understanding what lies beneath.

This does not mean we must act on every sensation or attempt to alter it immediately. The task is to notice, to pause, and to wonder. A tight chest may point to unspoken worry. A heavy fatigue may reflect emotional labour that has gone unseen. Restlessness in the legs may suggest unexpressed tension. When approached gently, these observations can serve as starting points for greater self-awareness.

Practices for everyday life

• Body scanning: Take a few quiet minutes to notice areas of tension and areas of ease. This is not about changing anything but about mapping where you are in that moment.

• Breath awareness: Bring attention to your breathing without trying to control it. Notice its pace and depth, and how it relates to your state of mind.

• Reflective questioning: Ask yourself what your body might be communicating. Does the sensation align with how you understand your day, or does it suggest something unacknowledged?

  
  

Moving forward

The body is not separate from psychological life. It is one of its primary expressions. By listening carefully, we can recognise the ways stress and emotion shape us physically and begin to respond with greater compassion and understanding. This practice is not about erasing discomfort but about learning from it. The body can guide us toward a deeper awareness of what is needed, both in the moment and over time.