Living Within the Window of Tolerance: A Somatic Perspective on Stress and Safety

The concept of the Window of Tolerance is foundational to trauma recovery work and nervous system regulation. First introduced by Dr. Dan Siegel and widely applied in somatic approaches like Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing, this model helps us understand how our mind and body respond to stress, threat, and overwhelm, and how we can come back to a place of calm and connection.

At its core, the Window of Tolerance describes the bandwidth in which we function optimally - where we feel alert but not overwhelmed, grounded but not shut down. In this window, we can feel our feelings without being swept away by them. We can think clearly, make decisions, and connect meaningfully with others. We are “online” - regulated, responsive, and resilient.

But when we’re under prolonged stress, trauma, or internal pressure, our nervous system can bump us out of this window. And when that happens, we find ourselves either ramped up into hyper-arousal or dropped down into hypo-arousal.

Hyper-Arousal: The Storm

Hyper-arousal is what we often associate with “fight or flight.” This is when the sympathetic nervous system is activated: our heart races, our breath quickens, and our thoughts spiral. We might feel anxious, irritable, panicked, or angry. Our whole system is mobilised to do something - to escape, to argue, to fix, to run.

Peter Levine reminds us that this state is not inherently bad, it’s a survival response. The problem is when it becomes chronic. Many of us live in a near-constant state of hyper-vigilance, especially if we have a history of trauma or unresolved stress. We may feel like we’re always bracing for something to go wrong. Over time, this takes a toll, a toll on our sleep, our digestion, our relationships, and our ability to feel joy.

Hypo-Arousal: The Freeze

On the other end of the spectrum is hypo-arousal: the “freeze” or “shut down” state. This is where the body goes when it decides that fighting or fleeing isn’t possible or safe. We might feel numb, disconnected, exhausted, or hopeless. Our thoughts might be foggy, our bodies heavy. This is the state of collapse - of going inward, often without even realising it.

Again, this is not a fault or failure; it’s a biological reflex. As Levine explains, the freeze response is built into all mammals as a last-resort survival strategy. But when we get stuck in this state, especially if we don’t have the tools or support to move through it, life can start to feel grey, lifeless, or overwhelming.

Finding Our Way Back

The good news? Our window of tolerance isn’t fixed. It can be expanded. Through body-based practices, mindful awareness, and compassionate self-care, we can learn to ride the waves of life without getting swept away or shutting down. We can build a stronger, more flexible nervous system - one that can feel stress without staying stuck in it.

Here are some ways to begin:

To Calm Hyper-Arousal (When You're "Too On"):

• Slow, diaphragmatic breathing — try inhaling for 4, exhaling for 8.

• Grounding — feel your feet, notice your surroundings, anchor in the present.

• Movement — rhythmic activities like walking, swimming, or rocking can discharge energy.

• Co-regulation — connect with someone safe. Eye contact, a soothing voice, or a gentle presence can help.

• Soothing touch — hand on heart, a warm drink, a weighted blanket.

  
  

To Activate From Hypo-Arousal (When You're "Too Off"):

• Gentle stimulation — cold water on the face, standing up, stretching, or tapping the body.

• Engage the senses — strong smells, crunchy food, upbeat music, textured fabrics.

• Movement with energy — dancing, bouncing, shaking, brisk walking.

• Self-talk — kind, affirming phrases that reconnect you to your agency: “I’m here. I matter. I can move.”

  
  

Expanding the Window

According to both Siegel and Levine, safety, especially internal felt-sense safety, is the cornerstone of healing. The more often we return to regulation, the easier it becomes to stay there. Over time, our window of tolerance can widen. We become more adaptable, more emotionally flexible, and more connected - to ourselves, to others, and to life.

Start small. Build moments of regulation into your day. Notice what helps, and practice it often. Not just in crisis, but as a lifestyle. Healing isn’t about never getting dysregulated. It’s about knowing how to come back.

Because the truth is: you were never broken. Your nervous system has always been doing its best to protect you. Now, it’s time to teach it that you’re safe, and that you’re home.